Day Twelve - seventh day elephant trek to crocodile cafe camp

Started off almost straight away hearing alarm calls from a Langur monkey sentry sat high up in a dead tree, we quickly chased through the brush and this time both Cathy and I were eyes in when the call of tiger, tiger, tiger went up and I managed to see a beautiful proud tiger strutting away through the grass and into the deep undergrowth, we tried to follow but not one more sign of him could we spy. I suspect the monkey felt we were exceeding daft for chasing after a tiger when he had been specifically warning us to avoid it and run in the opposite direction. 

There followed a long morning of searching through the bush and thickets and although there were signs of tigers none were as hopeful. We saw two lovely kingfishers one after another, the first darted along from tree to tree by the rivers edge, a beautiful iridescent blue until he finally darted straight into the water and came away with a fish. The second was large one just sat on a low beach in a tree with a fish caught in his sharp beak, ready to devour it but kindly stopping to pose for a photo first. 

It was hot today and the morning trek seemed to drag, we were a long time in the heat and by the time we arrived back in camp I felt like my legs would no longer carry me. I skipped lunch too exhausted and feeling sick and vertiginous and wait straight to lie down, annoyed that a cold should affected me so much. One quick look in the mirror confirm Pussy tonsils so to bed before lunch was the sensible course of action!I sweated it out in the tent whilst otherwise went to do laundry. I Got up for 4:30pm and broke my no sweets rule by having a couple of small biscuits - we likened them to Nepalese rich tea biscuits- with a coffee before a walk to swim, we had to go further than planned due to a marsh mugger crocodile which slithered off into the water just before we arrived and very slippery algae covered rocks, but it was good to feel cleaner and cool down. Although I suspect my hair was cleaner before I washed it!! But enough walking for me this evening, I'm worn out again. Everyone else headed out on foot at about 5pm. The others came back having not seen much but having had a lovely view of the sunset in a beautiful spot. We had yet another scrumptious dinner, tonight vegetable  momos which were Devine and great willpower was needed by all not to scoff the whole bowlful. 

Day Eleven - sixth day elephant trek to peacock camp

Heard barking deer alarm calls and raced on elephants to try to spots it, I saw the bush moving  but the call of tiger,tiger,tiger didn't help either Cathy or I to spot it. Kate did manage to just get a glimpse of the tiger before he disappeared into deeper undergrowth. We continued hunting but then veered off course and came upon a large male rhino, who after starring for a minute, decided to turn tail and run. We then saw the usual deer, lots of beautiful butterflies and birds. Made it to camp by about 11am and felt exhausted, cold is not improving so after lunch I went to the tent, hot though it was (a mini sauna is more accurate) to try to regain some energy.

Back out on elephants at 5pm to look back where Bimh had spotted the tiger in the morning. Almost given up on spotting anything when we came down tHe river and saw a large young male playing on the river bank, happily rolling over and flicking his tail, seemingly not bothered by an audience of 8 people and two elephants. We stayed and watched for at least half and hour before the tiger got bored, went for a swim and silently slipped off up the bank. 

Day Ten - fifth day elephant trek to rhino crossing camp

Very cold morning, I couldn't get warm at all, by about 10am in the sun finally started to feel warm. Not sure if it's cold or if I have a fever, deep joy!! We happened upon a Green pigeon on her nest, a good spot by Bimh as the nest was tucked in the undergrowth, there was likely a chick in the nest although not seen by us, as empty shell could be seen on floor. Rhino was again the main game seen for the day, alongside Blue tailed beeeaters, the most daintily elegantly of birds and a swooping serpent eagle fly high above the river. There were several hints of a tiger, with lots of fresh tracks, bones, scat with deer fur but no beady eyes on the actual prize! 

Stayed behind, feeling crook, snotty nose and sore throat, can't tell what is hot weather and what's temperature. The others went on a jeep safari, and were gone so long that I was quite worried when they weren't back by 7:30pm having left at 4pm and started wondering at what point to raise a search party. Dinner and bed for me tonight, I feel like pants!

Day nine - Fourth day elephant trekking to Reflections Camp

The normal routine of up at 5:30am, breakfast at 6am again today although brekkie seemed to take a bit longer so we left around 7am. Today was my first day on Ram Kali and immediately the Howrah was more roomy and comfortable. Cathy and I sat back to back and quickly found our groove. Sitting atop an elephant is a bit like hula-hooping but be prepared to go double speed if the hunt takes over. We quickly lost sight of the elephant and headed into the forest and within 30mins quiet but insistent chant of "Tiger,Tiger,Tiger!" Could be heard from Bimh on the back. He pointed out the elusive tiger which had been walking away but sadly we couldn't see it, what ensued was effectively a fast dash through the forest on elephant back chasing th tiger which Bimh saw on three separate occasions. We even saw two of its lairs, one with the bones of a midnight feast. The other we spotted from the cacophony of noise coming from the overgrowth. I thought it was a swarm of bees but in fact it was the back legs of a baby elephant covering in excitedly buzzing flies.  Bimh said he had never seen a tiger catch a baby elephant, normally the mother elephants are too fierce and protective, so they somehow must have been separated. He has seen it with the occasional brave tiger who attacks a female rhino by biting her mouth and scratching her flanks in order that the baby rhino runs away in another direction, allowing him the escape the female and catch the infantAfter a further half an hour search we gave up and continued on our journey.

We saw blue tailed bee-eaters and pied chats as well as circling woolly stalks that looked like vultures in the bright daylight. We passed under a large bees nest and were informed by Bimh that the honey is quite alcoholic and a teaspoon full had him drunk for several hours half in and half out of a waterhole wth his friends equally drunk suffering with bad stomach ache. 

We reached the river again and were treated to the sight of a large rhino have a bath and managed to follow him for a little way into the bush before he gracefully flicked his tail and ran, spraying scent as he went. Apart from a few more tiger tracks and some nervous deer we spotted nothing else substantial until with emerged from the bushes on the riverbank opposite camp. A truly peaceful spot, similar to an English forest camp except for the occasional tropical bird noise, but otherwise the crows, peacocks and jungle foul noises sound like home in an Autumn forest with leaf debris crunching underfoot. The river is a cool green and reflections of overhanging trees and vines like children's swings dot the bank. 

A chill out afternoon with a magnificent pork curry lunch, time for a bath in the river and washing clothes as well as reading and relaxing. The plan this evening is to do a short elephant safari back to the spot with the baby elephant carcass to see if we can spy a tiger.

We went back out on the elephants in the late afternoon, the baby elephant Carcass had moved but no tiger was spied, we saw a rhino on way back to camp bathing in the river a bend away from camp where earlier the men had seen a mother and baby rhino crossing. I'm beginning to feel ill, only I could get a cold in the jungle in 30deg heat!

Day eight - third elephant trek day to Thunderstorm camp

An early wake up followed by a large offering at breakfast before we hoped back on the same elephant as yesterday todays adventure.

Very windy in grasslands, lost hats. Still and joy in forest and more jungly due to rattan. Addition of foot rests not a success ?too high or just not needed. Very relaxed and tired. Spent a long time looking and saw lots of spotted and swamp deer, occ jog deer. Despite being across the river could see us and followed despite being nervous, except for brave young spotted deer at the back so curious she nearly lost the rest of the group. Withered the forest we saw another Indian Eagle Owl and a magnificent Crested serpent Eagle just perched low in the branches of a nearby tree. 

Saw three majestic samba deer larger than a tifer and seemingly as big as a horse, no wonder when a tiger catches one he doesn't need to eat for a week!

Returns to camp, half hour later others arrive having seen a leopard and her cub. Jealous much of our samba deer haha. The camp is very shady and again close to a flowing river but the river is silent and there is no breeze and lots of bugs (the bitey variety!).

After a "continental lunch" - salad, chicken kebab, walnut bread, focaccia and a version of a quiche with a stunning hummous like spicy dip, we sat back to theink about a plan for the afternoon when the wind started to whip up gently as it usually does around 2pm but it was accompanied by thunder and some large fat round drops of rain. 

At 3pm we headed to the river the wash ourselves and the elephants and the thunder and lightning continued, never had a bath with an elephant in a thunderstorm before? I would highly recommend it and I hate thunderstorms. The elephants and ourselves thoroughly clean it was time to change for our ritual evening trek. The elephants meanwhile having got clean then covered themselves in dry mud - natural sunscreen and insect repellant in one. Cathy is definitely considering the merits of it as part of her decent towards being the wild woman of Nepal! On return to camp a dining tent had kindly been erected in case of rain.

We set off down the river bank on foot tonight, the evening much cooler due to the thunderstorm earlier and sat in a quiet spot, I must admit I think I drifted off few a few seconds after sitting on the floor observing the ant highway I had suddenly dumped a large leg like obstruction into. Watching the ants beaver away trying to get around the problem was fascinating. Meanwhile elsewhere in the riverbank a solitary male peacock wandered down the bank and a few birds flew across but little else although crashing so in the jungle from the opposite bank promised much but failed to deliver. We walked back and jumped in the jeep to walk to another waterhole, today the main hunt being for tigers but despite staying til dark our only treat were the swamp, hog and spotted deer on the drive there and a solitary rhino who payed a fleeting visit. 

On arrival back at camp we had dinner, a masterpiece in Nepalese curry once more, followed by a well earned sleep. Tonight I feel I have been bitten by the Tstse fly, falling asleep whenever stationary for more than 30 seconds. 

Sleep was broken we several mini squalls although no further thunder.

Day seven - second elephant trek day to Running River Camp

Lovely to be woken up at 5:30am with a quick "good morning madam" outside the tent. Beautiful large breakfast and then straight onto our ellies for the day's journey. Back on Sham Kali for the day and excited about the prospects ahead.

Lots of bird life - woolly necked storks, open billed stalks, little egret, honey buzzards, owls, green beeeaters, brown bar its and their loud call (such a little bird such a big voice!). A large rhinoceros (no consensus from the men whether it was a bull or cow) but it wasn't happy being disturbed by two elephants and called and snorted its disapproval at us before turning tail and stomping off in the opposite direction.

We then did some proper off roading and I have the scars to prove it. Sham Kali is quite keen on forging her own path with the help and encouragement of her Mahjot Suklal. No obstacle to big to be pulled down by trunk and snapped or stamped upon. Sadly of me that's not compatible with Capri pants and so although some ice old man once said to "leave nothing but footprints", I also left half of the skin from my shins too and now look like I've been self harming.

I was at the point where I was beginning to feel that I could quite happily pass on seeing anything exciting to get back to camp immediately as I wasn't sure how much more shin de gloving and rib bruising I could take (the Howdah is small on Sham Kali so sitting at the back when moving at pace, you tend to get flung into the wooden rail around bra level) when Ashik our guide started sayings "tiger, tiger, tiger" very excitedly, we had to stop the mahoot and get him to back up and low and behold, beautifully camouflaged in the long grass between the trees was a magnificent striped cat. It took me a while to adjust my eyesight but finally saw him relaxing, tail flicking and ears twitching. We tried calling the other on the mobile - bizarrely there is reception but clearly not in whatever forest they'd trailed through but after about 20 minutes of watching and stomping down some trees to get closer the other finally arrived. The tiger had been aware of our presence, at this point we were on an elephant only about 20 metres away but apart from lying down haunches up for about 30 seconds he was unphased and certainly not "bovvered", the arrival of the second elephant though was a different matter as they drew nearer he felt stuck in a wartime pincer assault, raised himself up roared at them and ran sideways towards them but not forwards as a warning and then disappeared into the jungle. High on life we let him escape and turned around and headed towards the nearby river and across to our camp.

The camp is a truly magnificent spot high up on a bank right over a fast running but shallow river, with plenty of shade from trees to keep the tents cooler. Then men have cut away steps into the sand bank to step down to the toilet tent and the dining table is positioned in a dappled spot close to the edge of camp and the river. 

After greeting us with glasses of chiso pane, Lunch again a massive affair with several courses was served by the stewards (we have three!!) at our riverside restaurant. Chill out after lunch, each of us separate but united in our ways. For me it's togs on! Chillaxing in a chair writing this blog whilst intermittently Oning out and go using on the nature surrounding me. It is so so peaceful here, with the sound of running water, birds gently calling and beautiful large butterflies gliding through camp. The air is still and warm, like a thick woollen hug cosying you into a dreamless sleep. One could easily waste a lifetime here and yet not have wasted a single moment. The chance for reflection and contemplation is like a mindfulness wish come true.

After starring at nature for an hour or so we walked down to the river to have a special bath with Ram and Sham, who very much enjoyed their massages and elephant showers, not sure quite how clean we were after Ram Kali defecated in the water next to us!! After drying off we took the jeep for a safari. We sa lots of wild boar, spotty and  hog deer but sadly no more tigers!! We went to some beautiful spots and did a long walk though the jungle past giant tree with large trite/ant mounds and hollows where, deer, Tigers, rhinos and elephants had been gouging out bits of the clay for the salt and minerals contained within. We walked to a rickety old bridge that Bimh had lakes across with another client clinging on for dear life, it was tempting and D took a few steps but soon dismissed the idea. A rafting crew silently drifted beneath the bridge as we sat in quiet awe if e beauty around us. Back to the jeep and another waterhole, this time where there were known to be tigers but sadly as the park rangers had been fire lighting, only a few brave (or daft) deer were to be seen.

Finally we headed to one of the elephant watchtowers and climbed up the rickety old structure as the sun was setting, the views were amazing, especially as the tower gently swayed in the breeze like a precarious house of cards, ready to topple T any moment. We survived the backwards stairs back to terra firms and saw Nightjars darting off the tracks in front of the jeep as we drove back to camp.

Dinner was another triumph and sleep came easily and was full of tigers.

Day Six - our first Elephant trekking day to Firefly Camp

Up before wake up but I still managed to be late for breakfast. Sadly I couldn't face a large spread this morning and settled for a slice of toast and a large mug of coffee. After breakfast we tried quickly again for the Internet and after a first abortive attempt we had success and Cathy managed to email her planning application concerns and I sent a quick "Hello" to home.

Quick snap we jumped into our jeep and drove to the Entrance to Bardia National Park, through the village and lots of giggling children and brightly dressed ladies in small cafes and shops. At the gates with met Bimhs brother briefly and walked to meet our Elephants ..... Ram Kali and Sham Kali. The David and Goliath of elephants!! In true memsahib style we mount the elephant from a proper elephant stand, D and Kate on Ram Kali and Cathy and I on the compact and bijou Sham Kali. Aft some rearrangement due to weight distribution issues, we set off at a pace. Losing the lead elephant we ventured out on our own, through forest and grassland. 

Sham Kali moves stealthily and sore footed ply and when I dropped my water bottle (bimbo gene in action at all times and places!), she stealthily picked it up and threw it up to her Mahoot, fortunately she hadn't expected me to catch it or we'd be at it all day.

Today's safari on Sham Kali produced a couple of Swamp deer bathing in the river, hairy little wild boar that tore through the forest. A well spotted common Indian Monitor lizard. Open billed stalks. Bush chickens - the ancient ancestor of the common chicken. Some spotted deer. A magnificent Hog Deer replete with a fine set of antlers, Rhesus macaques and the piece de resistance a solitary young female white horned Indian rhino who we disturbed from her bathing in the mid morning heat. Some tiger foot prints and a well used motorway with elephant, rhino and tiger foot prints. 

We arrived in camp after a couple of hours, waist work out complete and had the fun of the first dismount. I. Not saying it was elegant but it worked and no one got injured!!! A glass of cool water (chiso pane)sitting out looking over the dried river bed with Sham Kali wondering to the water for a well earned rest - is this what a paradise looks like???

After a large lunch of chicken curry rice dhal and vegetable curry , we sat at the table and tried to learn the game backpacker, the humidity and temperature continued to soar and a mistral wind which instead of cooling you down seemed to scorch the hairs off ones sweat glistened arms!

Bimh would check back in periodically to see we were alright before disappearing off to check out yet another watering hole to see if there were any creatures occupant worth visiting. At 4pm we jumped in the jeep and drove 10 minutes to another sort of watering hole - this of the human variety (and No! before you think it they don't have a pub in the middle of the Nepalese Jungle!!), as we arrived a magnificent peacock flew across our view of the small tributary of the Karnali River we were to use as a bathtub. Swimsuits already donned back at camp we strode into the lukewarm water and sat for half an hour or so getting beautifully clean before putting dirty clothes on over the wet togs and collecting half a river bank in our now damp sandals. 

We hopped back into the jeep with silty damp butts and stopped for a walk to visit a couple of watering holes, a tigress and her cubs had been spotted at the second one  recently but when we arrived it was like the queue for Leicester Square cinema on the opening night of Star Wars. Too many people locals and tourists alike crammed into open spaces on the river bank hoping to get an elusive glance of the tiger. We soon have Jo and opted to head back to camp before it got too dark.

Dinner again was a multi coursed affair by gaslight. Followed by lemon Tart for dessert - very old colonial sat at a table and chairs being served classic French patisserie!!! Dinner ranged from the lighthearted to the serious whilst fireflies danced around us,mbut my favourite anecdote of the day - specially for you Mark - is the story of the first women's fundraising trek. Haven produced brochures and tried to advertise it in the press it turned out that the newspaper assumed that JoLt stood for "Jolly Old Lesbian Travellers"!!

  

At 9pm we retired to our tents to be lulled to sleep by the sounds of the jungle - including the bush rooster.

Day Five - the third leg (nothing like the third man) - Kathmandu to Karnali Lodge

I awoke early to the sound of Bells - my iPhone alarm rather than any nice external life soundtrack.  We slept fairly well, other than Dorothy walking into the table on the way back from the toilet and me sitting bolt upright thinking the standard lamp was in fact a man standing at the window!! Got down early for a leisurely breakfast, Kate and Cathy having voted to lie in a while longer and bolt a quick bite. However, when Mungo arrived to pick us up for the airport at 7:15am there was still no sign of them, so D went to investigate. Sadly they had set an alarm and it had gone off, but on English rather than Nepalese time and so they promptly fell asleep again until the dulcet tones of banging on the hotel door reawoke them.

We actually made the airport in good time and said goodbye to Mungo and the driver at check in. Safely through the check in desk at Yeti Airlines, whose motto is "You come first" - hopefully the plane doesn't come second!!-, and on through security which hasn't changed much - bags through the scanner and then a series of body checks - although not on the steps of the plane this time!

I then sat people watching for 30 or so minutes hoping to be able to hear the call our flight 412 to Nepalgunj (pronounced Ne-pal-gunge which does not sound at all appetising I must admit). A quick bus ride over the Tarmac and we got on the plane looking for our seat numbers which were in fact just passenger numbers and it was a free for all on the tiny 30 seater. I sat next to a very sweet lady who lives in Kathmandu but works in Sukre. An 80 minute flight later - no beer this time just the local Himalyan Times newspaper, cotton wool for noise dampening and a sweet to suck ..... Headline news: we came second in the World Cup 20:20 finals, disabled students are getting extra time in their exams and they daughter a man after 20 years for killing a tourist.

We were met at Nepalgunj by a smiling Bimh - who was on our first Elephant Trek in Chitwan in 2005 and kindly said D and I hadn't changed at all (except being 11 years older, several more grey hairs added and about 3 stone - actually to be fair D doesn't look much different!). We loaded onto a minibus and pick up a stray American girl, studying in Kathmandu for a Semester as a break from her American Studies Degree. Turns out she was in Nepal doing a project on the culture and political system and was going to stay with a Tharu Activist for a couple of weeks. The Tharu are a Nepalese tribe who feel quite marginalised by the government which is quite Kathmandu-centric and largely represented by the higher Caste Hindu majority. It was quite jaw dropping and inspiring that such a young woman was doing something quite so radical on her own so far from home. We had a quiet joke about the political upheavals going on closer to home with Donald and Hilary. 

Before the metalled road ended we stopped for a quick walk on a bridge to have a quick hunt for Wildlife - the river is protected 3m either side of this large man made bridge and it didn't uptake long to spots some ducks and cormorants sunning themselves on the sandbanks, with enormous fish swimming around the feet of the bridge. We crossed the road and soon spotted a Guardial Crocodile patiently waiting for a large fish to swim by, a turtle and then two more crocs a delicate female with a slim nose and jaw and a mahoussive Male with a snarly old nose who dived to the depths with a flick of his muscular tail soon after he was spotted. After dropping Julie (the American) off at her Eco lodge, we headed to Karnali Lodge. 

Lovely lunch, a room each, bag unpacking, shuffling repackaging. Walk to the goal leg at 5, tour of gorgeous mud hut not unlike my little cob building at home, full of home made wattle grain stores and large amphora like structures and a small corner dedicated to the gods to ward off bad luck - a chicken, goat and pigeon in little clay statues. The bedroom had a lovely table with an abacus for the children and lots of make up and nail varnish for Mum. The villagers are 75% Tharu Tribe. Polaroid pictures of the family and D cuddling the month old baby. Walk through the village and back via the Elephants to unite with Ram Kali - older, wiser and fatter - a bit like someone else we know!! Fed her a dry elephant sandwich and maybe she knew us and meet the grumpy elderly Lakshmi, very few teeth and a want to smack people on the behind with her trunk if they get too close!  

Quick shower and an enormous dinner with discussion own art and medicine and then trial and fail for Internet and bed. The real adventure starts early doors tomorrow...... Very excited can't wait.

Day Four - The Adventure Continues - the Second Leg ........ Delhi to Kathmandu

Well, I left you in departures at Delhi where I stayed for five hours. I characteristically for me I walked straight to my gate, found a seat and tried to get some shut eye it being early morning in Delhi and Kathmandu. Not hugely successful with bright lighting, loud Indian Airport Radio and single seating with arms but I managed a gentle doze. Woke up after the Doha flight and its noisy and VERY late travellers had left and checked the board only to find they'd changed my departure gate to the opposite end of the terminal building. A ten minute walk later and I found yet another uncomfortable seat - the floor sadly did not look appetising as a sleeping space.

Airport chairs I've noticed are a bit like spaces on the beach, you slap your towel down in a human free area of the beach and within in a matter of minutes like a magnet bodies flock to sit there, seemingly scared of all the empty space still left. Needless to say not an awful amount of winks were taken, certainly nowhere near the requisite forty at any rate!

After six staff talked loudly and made themselves look busy for half an hour we finally got a call to board the plane as the gate was due to close. I found my seat, stowed my backpack and caught some z's. The flight was only about 90 minutes, including a breakfast, although we then circled around for twenty minutes due to the "weather" I can only assume the Captain meant Smog. After filling out my customs form and doing the visa application on the machines - I now have five passport photos that I don't need as the machine takes a rather nifty little picture - you can only imagine just how glorious I was looking first thing this morning! - I grabbed my bag and emerged from the airport (think Exeter and you'd be about right for size) to be greeted by two lovely chaps and a greeting board with my name on it. Now call me shallow but I've always wanted to be greeted by a chauffeur in full uniform with a greeting board with my name on it and this was pretty close. In the dream version the chauffeur looks a bit more like Jamie Dornan but none the less after a twenty four hour travel spectacular it was a welcome sight!

A short trip through the bustling streets of Kathmandu and straight to the hotel. The trip as all travel abroad, was exciting, there seem to be know rules at all for right of way and it felt like utter chaos snaking between cars with motorbikes suddenly veering out of side streets diagonally across the road in front of you. I checked in early (by several hours!) but the hotel staff kindly greeted me with a warm towel and a fresh wild berry juice - the bliss continues. 

After an hour of messing about with the internet sending messages back to loved ones I jumped in the shower and put on some fresh kit. It was tempting however to jump in the sunken bath for a good scrub but as the weather has brighten up and the hotel courtyard was calling a shower will have to do for now. 

After a quick tour of the shops looking at to die for cashmere pashminas that would eat up half the trips spending money, I've plonked myself down near the pool I a dappled bit of shade with a glass of diet "I'm loving it". I've skipped lunch as the maid bought biscuits and fruit to the room (a bowl half full of bananas - oh what deep joy - they may need to move into the other room tonight) and when my room mate arrives, I may partake a little and then wait until dinner. It's pleasantly warm, the sun is shining somewhere behind the remaining Smog and the water fountains splashing into the pool is soothing and calming. If only everyday were like this! I ought to think about a swim but that thought of wet kit in my kit bag so early I the trip is a bummer.

So here I sit and contemplate in the sunshine whilst waiting for the three musketeers to arrive to their waiting Dartagnan.

Well, I had a little snooze in the sun and read my kindle and then at 3:30pm thought I ought to come and sit in reception and what for my partners in crime, so I sat and waited and read my kindle til it ran out of battery. Then I tied my bad and read the terms and conditions of my parking T Heathrow. Then I plugged my ears into the iPod and listened to some music. After an hour or so I thought maybe I should go charge the iPad and make sure the room is tidy. Room and baggage sorted and have come back down to reception with my phone so I can get back to the Kindle. At 5:30pm I thought maybe I should check the flight status on t'internet and low and behold their flight was delayed by nearly three hours and should be landing about 6pm. Am now regretting the old skip lunch and don't eat all the biscuits decision of earlier!! Also I'm having to politely fend off advances from the staff enticing me to have a drink!

Now do I sit and wait or do I book a table for dinner for us all or what? Too many decisions but the air is cooling, the birds are going mental in the trees and it's time for the bitey creatures to start coming out!!

Finally the poor Musqueteers have arrived looking worn out. We have our trek and our rafting briefings and are off for dinner after a quick wash and brush up!! Staying in house as everyone too tired to venture out tonight. Another early morning flight tomorrow!!

Day Three Saturday April 2nd The adventure Begins - first leg .... Heathrow to Delhi

Well my planned lie in didn't exactly go to plan, waking up at 3am with stomach cramps and throwing up at 6am. Not sure if I'm coming down with something or if it's a combination of late night, greasy food, wine and brufen. A shower and a power brekkie in the Executive Lounge and I'm ready to face the onwards trip. A power walk back along the Hilton tunnel to the airport and I'm queueing for the check in desk. Nervously waiting and hoping that my medical kit bag doesn't cause too may concerns. I then got even more nervous realising that I've left all my medical ID at home! A quick google of the GMC Medical register later and I have my requisite proof of my marvellous GP status. After watching people check in 50" screen TVs (only on flights to the Asian subcontinent) and boxes full of their British lives, I finally got to check in, declared my dodgy cargo and pass the check in. Straight through security, some shopping and phone calls from family and loved one later and I make it to the Gate.

Managed to sneak in a couple of quick emails and a 10 minute session on the GP training e-portfolio before being called to board. So, I've nearly made it onto the plane in one piece without too much angst. Those of you that know me well and have travelled with me before know how nervous I get prior to boarding any form of transport, this eternal angst was in no way improved by the computer Announcing that I had already boarded the plane when it scanned my boarding card. A nod from the supervisor and thankfully they let me pass and onto the plane. The chap on the next check in point was equally as lucky, he'd spilt perfumes on his passport photo page, leaving his ID section looking like a hazy green ghost and fortunately the negative page slightly more recognisable in a pixelated bad wanted posteresque way. I suspect a replacement passport will be required to get back into the UK though.

As we taxied to the runway, the Captain kindly pointed out Concorde, beautiful to see although it's last voyage wasn't so successful.....Anyhow, I am sat now on the plane and have had lunch, I chose the lamb expecting a lovely Rogan Josh but instead got an unexpected roast dinner! Have settled down to a couple of films and although I don't much like Daniel Craig I have come to admire his derrière, which is probably the best bit so far of Spectre. As well as an in seat screen there is cunning a USB port for charging your electrical system, sadly mine seems to be missing the all important innards so have opted not to use the i's too much (pod/pad/phone take your pick).

Now to pause and watch the rest of the film as the blog is up to the minute. Laters people!

It's 9pm in the uk and 1:30am in Delhi, odd to think that as I land in Delhi the rest of the ladies should be taking off from Heathrow ....... Catch up girls!!!! I've passed through the less than friendly security and am now sat at the gate and hoping to snooze so I correct my time zone. Sadly although I'm boiling hot the mossies are out and after blood, time to swelter in a sweater 🤒

Day Two - work

Up early with the alarm, well okay I might have pressed Snooze a couple of times before I actually got up off the couch. My one regret perhaps is that I didn't manage to finish the washing up before I left, but it'll be there when I get home, the crumb burglars don't do washing up!

And so ensued a day at work with the usual ups and downs, it was long but in reality I finished earlier than I do on many days, mainly a due to help from my dearest colleagues. 

Had a hilarious call with a patient, normal type call with various ills and woes. She then asks me what size I am as she has been watching some fashion programmes and saw a Carlie similar to one she had admired when I lasted visited her. When I told her my size was 16 - which as I have mentioned before rally does not make me hugely happy at present, she laughed uproariously and declared I must be at least a 20 or 22. Strangely she didn't expect me to be unbelievably offended by this and signed of the conversation quite cheerfully. I actually laughed out loud after putting the phone down unsure if I'd be dissed Newton Abbot stylie.

So after tying up all the loose ends, hopefully - let's not forget I'm a superstar when it comes to edjittery, I skipped out the door pulled the bike rack off the back of the grey stallion and hot footed it up to Heathrow. Made a few phone calls on the way. There's nothing like an exciting trek to make you put your life in order (washing up excepted of course!).

Happily I arrived at the airport within 3 hours, okay so I didn't strictly stick to the speed limit as I wanted to get there more dirreckly. Parked up the grey stallion, jumped on a shuttle bus and made the long walk to the Hilton. Cunningly used my points to book the room and for my first treat in days got upgraded to an executive room and as the executive lounge was closed, I scored a voucher for a free drink at the bar. Very late burger and chips, two glasses of vino and I repacked and hit the sack.

Day One - Home

Guess the real journey started on Thursday morning when I woke up with a feeling of sheer dread. I suddenly questioned why I hadn't received any of the update texts for the flights to Nepal. If the flight was booked why couldn't I remember paying for it. I search back through my emails of several months and there was the the email from Kate "shall we go ahead and book the flights then?". Shall we go ahead and book the flights then, only I didn't do that did I, nope, got distracted. Edjit status ramped up to superstar!!! A great trek booked elephant trekking and whitewater rafting with three awesome, strong, dynamic women. Only the weak link in the chain, the capable Doctor but all round bimbo.......... she had an expensive holiday with no means of getting to the start. I think the opening lines of that famous film starring Hugh Grant just about some up my feelings of realisation ....."Bugger, Bugger, Bugger....F**k,F**k, F**kity, F**k!!". I think I may be paraphrasing a little bit there but you see where I'm going with the whole air of desperation malarkey. 

So the awesome plan to have a lie in, a nice brekkie and shop for last minute kit - which lets face it with two days to go is still stellar on the Edjit scale to start with, suddenly became an almighty Lastminute.com, bookaflightforanidiotcomparethemarket.com existential crisis. Two hours later with every combination tried over multiple websites I finally finished hammering the iPad and with bank account depleted but with tickets to Kathmandu via Delhi, breathed a small sigh of relief. Four flights booked but sadly only one with the other ladies which is the Last Leg, we know a JoLt style programme about that...but I digress, and will only feature three of us as Kate stays behind to visits some NGO's in Nepal. This rates as my most expensive holiday yet, flights over double what I should have paid, an exclusive unique trek, 2.5 days of locums to pay for and extra kit (because of the soon to be mentioned MaccyDs some of my trek gear is a little, shall we say snug???

Instead of a leisurely last trip to MaccyDs for a double sausage and egg McAdd another inch to my lardy arse meal, I left home at 1pm to start the previously planned shopping. Go Outdoors and Cotswold outdoors at Exeter thoroughly raided and besides having to buy a pair of Capri walking pants 2 sizes above what is already too uncomfortable size for me I headed to Sainsburys to grab my first food of the day. Few other last minute supplies and I received a phone call from work - potentially bad news, quite surreal mixing two sides of my life ... Serious GP and jet setting expeditioneer - of course this is in my dream life, the reality is a little bit more Father Ted than James Bond and in the film of my life I am Father Dougall rather than Dear James!!!!

A well deserved sandwich in Sainsburys car park later and I head for home to actually pack. Realising I have given away all my 100 litre trek duffels, leaving me with my favoaurite but noticeable smaller red workhorse. Bags finally packed, medical kit bag raided, paired back and paired back again, shoehorned into my classically overpacked kit bag, I managed to drive to work for some sneaky paperwork before a nice call from Mum and P. The water tank alarm is solved, the lovely thing is leaking and so my debt to my beautiful family is increasing. Only one thing left to sort, a place to stay for Friday night. In true style, the man has decided he is owed a night in London after putting up with me for a whole 5 days over Easter, so Heathrow hotel and car parking it is.